I am bringing you part 3 of the Towards an Effective Marriage Series. I trust you will be greatly helped as I share with you what I wish I knew before getting married in 2005.
Married yet alone and lonely
Ephesians 5
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
The summary of the terms of the marital covenant is unambiguously spelt out in the scripture above. If each partner will keep their part of the covenant we will have effective unions that advance the purpose of God and his kingdom in the earth. The bible says ‘let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself.’ This means love and affection is a necessity for every woman. Every wife needs affection. It’s a lack of understanding that will make a husband think his wife’s need for affection is unnecessary. Many misinterpret a wife’s need for affection and attention as carnality and hence must be done away with. Many Christian wives are married yet lonely.
The issue of loneliness in marriage must be looked at comprehensively. When God said that it was not good for man to be alone, the Bible said that out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them to Adam to see what he will call them: and whatsoever Adam called every creature, that was the name thereof. God started the creative process, of making Adam a help suitable for him, by forming animals from the ground and presenting them to Adam to see what he would call them. In verse 20 of Genesis 2 the Bible says but for Adam there was not found a help meet for him. So you can see that in the presence of God and the animals man was still alone.
The question is how could man be alone when God was there? How could man be alone when the animals were there? A spouse will be alone even in marriage unless both partners are on the same level. The animals were below man and God was above man so man was still alone without a spouse on his level. Partners in a marriage must commit to continuous personal development and learning in order to speak the same language. Unless you grow together you will go apart.
A woman must not marry a man she does not respect and admire
Ephesians 5
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
The Bible uses a very strong word to capture the essence of a wife’s relationship with her husband. REVERENCE. Other synonyms for reverence are respect, admiration, awe, worship, amazement, veneration, astonishment, devotion. If a woman does not see herself relating to a man on this level she has no business saying yes to his marriage proposal.
Let every partner play their part. Become excellent in delivering your side of the covenant. Your marriage is blessed.
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Rule and Subdue the Earth!