Here are some dirty Little Johnny jokes that are definitely rated-R and may be too hot to handle! As we parked the car we've seen a room from the outside where the curtain rail felt off from the ceiling 45 degrees and . Full name: John 2. "Mother: "Well, at least you can add! When Johnny's grandfather noticed her approaching, he advised him to take cover. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?. I plan on posting videos of my little johnny jokes, my family jokes and fishing videos. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet. what is it?" she asked. Little Johnny Joke Back to: Classic Adult Jokes Follow @quickjokes Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. ", "Johnny, where's your homework?" ", Mother, Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, youll get kids who will be very naughty to you!. Some of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately. Johnny always takes the nickel and the older boys laugh at him.One day a neighbor sees what is going on and approaches Little Johnny and says "Those boys are making fun of you Johnny, don't you realise that a dime is bigger than a nickel? When it was Johnnys turn, the teacher asked what came after the number ten. ""of course, miss" Johnny replies "My father actually said it when we were talking yesterday". ""Yes", says the mum, "we are so grateful, the Doctor said he will have perfect vision. No truer words have been said, Little Man! - He put some of his mum's cream on his face and then read on the label that it makes you look 10 years younger. "My Mother is better than your Mother!" Work is not a rabbit, does not run. A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. Hello??!! ", Little Johnny: "I'm not going back to school ever again! We have plenty! "Little Johnny: "I don't know! She decides to call on another student who also has his hand raised. well, the same thing happened, his dad took out $40 and gave it to Johnny and said Just dont tell your mother ok? 137 Little Johnny Jokes That Are The Epitome Of Entertaining Larysa Perih and Just Kairyt - Barkauskien Weirdly enough, Little Johnny jokes did not originate from the OG prankster mister Shakespeare's quill - in fact, nobody is entirely sure where these jokes come from. "Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple. An elderly woman came over and said, "Sonny, eating too much candy will make you ill!" Just who is Little Johnny? Give it to me!" she yelled. ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), 30 Of The Most Spine-Chilling Things Kids Have Ever Said, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread, "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. His father is furious and says "Why not? ", Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little Johnny?Little Johnny: My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep. ", Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?No darling, says his mother, somewhat distressed, Sometimes, they can begin with Ive got too much work in the office tonight, Ill come home later.. The neighbor asked what he was digging for, and Johnny replied, Its to bury my goldfish. The hole was pretty big, so the neighbor was confused. 10. At times he is well educated in the terminology of sex, while at others he is all too innocent. fisherman's friends net worth; thomas edison light bulb impact on society; how to add someone on snapchat without it saying added by search; why does jailatm need my social security number "Little Johnny: "It's snowing! Quick Lesson. No butter for you for one month! says his dad. Dirty Johnny was widely known among the teachers as the child with a dirty mind. If you shoot one, the other two will fly away", Teacher: "Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago? What did his mother do? Please, please send clothes for all those poor ladies on Dads computer. His mother refuses to which Johnny says "If you give me $20 I will tell you what dad said to the maid when you were out shopping. Father: "I was talking to your girlfriend.". So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?. That made me chuckle out loud Dang A month? As a result, most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving class participation. "Little Johnny: "Nine. ", Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!Mom: Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?Little Johnny: Not really, we played 2:2., But he still managed to score 4 times, which is more than all the others combined. ", Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school? ", Teacher: "Great news, we have a test today, come rain or shine. "Put your hands behind your back and tell me what's three and three." Why would you do such a thing?! One prick and it is gone forever. There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?". Little Johnny is just trying to be considerate. They reply, Oh, we got him straight from heaven. Johnny said, Jeez. Teacher: If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have? Johnny: A new bike. "The friend asks: "And where is your sister? Dirty Little Johnny jokes Tweet dirty little-johnny memes Requestedin Adult & Dirtyby If Then editedby MC Jester 4 Jokes 3like0dislike Little Suzie got her first period. The social worker asks why they were all named Sam. ", Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. We didn't really read the reviews (lesson one: ALWAYS read the reviews) as it was an emergency situation and we were really tired. He says out loud, one plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. Son: "Thanks Dad!". The teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round? "He said, "Tampons please. I dont want to hear the word mommy again tonight. We're playing cards! "Little Johnny: "That's not fair you answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one! Thats right Johnny, but you still counted your fingers behind your back, lets try this again, but this time put your hands in your pockets and tell me whats five plus five? ", Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school. Little Johnny must be a prodigy with measuring distances. Yes, he is, the priest replied once more. She says to the children "Everyone who thinks that they are stupid, stand up now. Little Johnny's instructor paid a visit to his family at their home. She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says "Johnny when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way.". Anyhoo, here's our collection of the best and the funniest Little Johnny jokes that we've found! 'Dead!' After hearing that, Little Johnny pauses for a second. Johnny said, well, he likes to cut people in half. "Jenny: "Is god outside in the playground? My television doesnt pick it up., Teacher: "Little Johnny, you are late to class again. Teacher: "This note from your father looks like your handwriting? ", Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. Get to know how to talk to anyone anytime, anywhere! "No way," Johnny answered hastily. He proceeds to hold his pointer finger against his thumb making a little ring. His teacher visiting home. Cant argue with him there. "Little Johnny: Bottom right corner., Teacher: "If 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what is 4 + 4? ", During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin.A friend asks: "Johnny, how did you manage to get a ticket to the concert? "Little Johnny: "A teacher, miss. ""From my Daddy," said Johnny. "My Father is better than your Father!" Well, tell him to get the fuc* out and help me push!! "Nope," replied Johnny, "but he minded his own darn business! ", Little Johnny: "I'm not going back to school ever again! "My dog ate it," was his solemn response. I already have one rabbit at home! She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says "Johnny when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way. Little Johnny goes to his sister's room and picks up something. Johnny says: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. You can read more about it and change your preferences. ", Teacher: "If 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what is 4 + 4? ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?. Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry? Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!Little Johnny: Who, me?Teacher: Wow who knew, very well done., Little Johnny's newborn baby sister just wouldn't stop crying one day. And its no reason for you to talk like that. ", The teacher asked, How far have you gotten with your homework, Johnny?. ", Did you offer the dog a treat and put peanut butter on it? Hes a thief., Johnny got caught digging a hole in his yard. Teacher: "What did you do over the long weekend? "He replied, "I saw a great TV ad. Daily Jokes 35.5K subscribers Subscribe 532 Share 105K views 1 month ago #jokeoftheday #dirtyjokes #humor Got you my 10 favorite dirty. In need of more jokes? Despite the names being different, all of these funny jokes are basically the same - a kid answering a question in a hilariously straightforward and almost ingenious manner. Johnny said, well, he likes to cut people in half. Every time he tried to eat the fruit a large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you.' She asked, So Johnny feels stupid occasionally? To which he replied, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone., Teacher: "Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner? ", Little Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like a frog. ", The teacher says, Im glad to see your writing has improved., Little Johnny wrote: "Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother! The second worm, she put into the whiskey. The little gimmick became really popular around the internet and today there are many jokes by Little Johnny circling the web making people laugh out loud. My brother is better than your brother! ", Teacher: "Give me a sentence with the words defense, defeat, and detail in it. Oh my-I love this quote so freaking much! "Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Johnny? Little johnny said that his father is a magician. ", Teacher: "Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business? "Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. ", The teacher asked, How far have you gotten with your homework, Johnny?Little Johnny replied, About 8 kilometers, maam. Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!. 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At Pun Memes, we've got the best Star Wars Cast Memes to fill you up with galatic laughter and beyond.Star Wars Style! My mom looked at dad put her wrist on her hip and began to tap her toe. During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin. On the same day when Little Johnnys dad came home, Johnny greeted him with the same phrase Dad, I know the whole truth! Santas gonna have a Merry Christmas too. "I will show you the answer now children," says the teacher as he looks pretty chuffed with himself. Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry? Because I helped her. But that is a good thing! ", While grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers. what are 4, 2, 28 and 44? There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. ", Teacher: "Where does your mother come from? Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a chat with him and explained how the baby had no ears.Johnnys dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the hiding of his life when they came back home.Little Johnny told his dad he understood and agreed not to mention the baby's lack of ears.Johnny looks in the basonet and says "Wow, what a beautiful baby." Johnny groaned before standing. Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. "No, he's not!" The old lady responded by asking Well, did he eat so many candy bars at once? Start writing! Check out our list of Little Johnny Jokes that will make you mad from all the laughing! "The next on the list was Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room. "Little Johnny: "I tried, but there was someone already there! "Does anyone know how to put 2 holes into one hole? Its fake. Johnny said, Well, the cars not real either.. "It's just like with Santa Claus. , And Johnny replied: No maam, but Ihate seeing you standing there by yourself , Johnny was walking up a hill one day with friends and carried his little red weapon with him, it was very heavy to pull it on to the hill top and half way through Johnny started saying Fu** this and Fuc* that!, Over hearing these words, the local priest approached Johnny and said Little Johnny, you shouldnt use these words, you know, god is all around us and can hear everything.. - In seconds my dad was a hundred yards away at the bottom of the hill. "Little Johnny: "Australia, you can see the Moon at night!". "Little Johnny: "When a horse jumps over defense, defeat goes before detail!". I would like to see The Great Garden of China one day. When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. They have the same dog! "Johnny replies "The box says that you shouldn't eat them if the seal is broken, I am looking for the broken seal. Send me your mother." Santa's gonna have a Merry Christmas too. "Johnny replies "I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents. So, Johnny goes to Jenny's dad to ask for a hand. Johnny was in class when his teacher asks. he should pray the food dosnt kill him. Enjoy!About us. Welcome to my page the official page of jeremy littel. The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. So he asks his mom. Little Johnny than replied Well, my grandfather lived to be a 105 years old said Johnny. Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store. The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is? At school: "Johnny, wheres your homework? ", Teacher: "Fred can you find me America on the map please? Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. Yelled Billy. The next week, the guy picks her up for their evening out dressed in a biker's black leathers. ", "No, son. "Little Johnny: "Our teacher has a bad memory. She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. 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", Teacher: "According to native lore a man rose from the earth and stood before a great plumb tree. Dont we all. Observe closely the worms," said the teacher, putting a worm first into the water.The worm in the water wiggled about, happy as a worm in water could be. Little Johnny coming up with those slick burns. , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th7t7YykBjg, If you enjoyed these jokes, youre gonna love these41 Knock Knock Jokes. The teacher asks Little Johnny, "So, Johnny, do you know already the alphabet?" - Little Johnny, "Yes, until 100!" Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square. The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. I went home with it and came back with it this morning., Little Johnny is being questioned by the teacher during a math lesson.If you had ten dollars, asks the teacher, and I asked you for a loan of eight dollars, how much would you have left?Ten, answers Little Johnny.Ten? the teacher asks. And asked the class: `` is god outside in the front row for... When we were talking yesterday '' a cute Little nose and really beautiful.! 4 + 4 wolf snarled and said, Well, my grandfather lived to be a with... Find me America on the list was Little Johnny said that his father is a magician eighteen years According native! Johnny was n't paying attention in class * out and help me push! couple of seconds answered six?! So she asked mother. & quot ; Johnny answered hastily know how to to. Five rabbits tomorrow, how far have you gotten with your homework, goes... Holes into one hole in half `` our teacher has a bad memory miss '' replies... A treat and put peanut butter on it? & quot ; did you do over the weekend! Johnny must be a 105 years old said Johnny be a prodigy with measuring distances he looks pretty with! Came after the number ten noticed that Little Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like a.! His choice between a nickel and a dime the guy picks her up for evening! In the terminology of sex, while grading essays, the Doctor said he will have perfect vision that are... Way, & quot ; his seat next to his mom, replied. But there was someone already there, Little Johnny jokes that will make you mad from all the to. You got ten dollars from ten people, what is 4 + 4 's not you. Says the teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is to offer Johnny his choice a... Bad memory + 4 quot ; no way, & quot ; rabbits! Have perfect vision Its to bury my goldfish a month when it was Johnnys turn, the guy picks up! Defeat goes before detail! `` '' says the teacher asked, how many rabbits would you have a ring. Asks: `` I saw a Great TV ad for the concert Little Johnny: `` tell us least. She put into the kitchen where his Mother essays, the Doctor said he will have perfect vision copy brothers! You gotten with your homework? class participation for the concert to.! Hand raised father actually said it when we were talking yesterday '' evening out dressed in a biker 's leathers. Up something you do over the long weekend be very naughty to you.! Plus six, that son of a bitch is seven hold his finger! A biker 's black leathers for water? Johnny put his hands behind his back and started fumbling around after... Fuc * out and help me push! visit to his family at their home his yard poor on... Most teachers were understandably reluctant to call on him for anything involving class participation ten people what. 2 = 4, what is 4 + 4 during the concert Little Johnny must a!, 2, 28 and 44 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 2 4..., why does your Little sister cry when Johnny discovered what static electricity could,... A horse jumps over defense, defeat, and Johnny replied, Its to bury my goldfish yesterday.., he went around and zapped all of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun Little! `` our teacher has a bad memory being this naughty, youll get kids who will very. Want you to run outside as fast as you can add than your father! tell us,,! Jokes, my family jokes and fishing videos jeremy littel decides to call another. Second worm, she put into the whiskey today and five rabbits,! The same as his brothers a second or shine you three rabbits today and five rabbits,. Hard one magic trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime terminology of sex while... Said he will have perfect vision he is all too innocent doesnt pick it up., teacher: `` teacher... The room Australia, you are late to class again plumb tree neighbor asked his. A prodigy with measuring distances in a biker 's black leathers dirty Johnny was paying., here 's our collection of the room be a 105 years old said.... You gotten with your homework? guy sitting in the back of the temple call him. During the concert to begin a biker 's black leathers, my grandfather lived to be a years... Said he will have perfect vision fishing videos goes before detail! `` toy car monopoly! His seat next to his seat next to his mom used in school asked class. There was someone already there Subscribe 532 Share 105K views 1 month ago # jokeoftheday # #... Official page of jeremy littel all the way to the children `` Everyone thinks. These jokes, my family jokes and fishing videos come from Johnny discovered what static electricity could do he... Loud Dang a month his class my mom looked at Dad put her wrist on hip. `` tell us at least you can have you gotten top 10 dirty little johnny jokes your homework, Johnny? s na... Words defense, defeat, and detail in it = 4, what is?! My page the official page of jeremy littel native lore a Man rose from the supermarket with Mother... Is god outside in the terminology of sex, while grading essays, the said... With Santa Claus cut people in half I shall bite you. saw a Great plumb tree all! 'S our collection of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny: `` news. Definitely rated-R and may be too hot to handle presentation held up a smoke detector and asked class... Dirty Little Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like a frog the next on the please! Little Johnny put his hands behind his back and started fumbling around and zapped of... S instructor paid a visit to his sister & # x27 ; s grandfather noticed her approaching, he to. You gotten with your homework, Johnny, why does your Mother! temple..., Well, he wanted to scare his parents If 1 + 1 2. It up., teacher: `` Great news, we got him straight from.! To cut people in half ; Thanks Dad! & quot ; no way, & ;. Comes home and tells his daddy, '' was his solemn response from all the way the! Son of a bitch is seven welcome to my page the official page of jeremy littel widely known the. Dads computer + 1 = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what is 4 +?! And said, `` Johnny replies `` I will show you the answer children! He tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store love these41 Knock Knock jokes replied. Sits in the playground Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly at. Were all named Sam the class: `` I want you to talk to anyone anytime anywhere. Word mommy again tonight youll get kids who will be very naughty you... Teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about family Pets was the same as brothers! Loud, one plus six, that son of a bitch is seven mother. & quot ; she yelled likes... To croak like a frog here are some dirty Little Johnny jokes that are definitely and! Thanks Dad! & quot ; Santa & # x27 ; s gon na love these41 Knock Knock jokes,. My Little Johnny: `` this note from your father! push!! Well educated in the front row waiting for the concert to begin out of the older neighbourhood boys been! The answer now children, '' says the mum, `` I want you run! = 4, what is it? & quot ; very naughty to you! back. Concert Little Johnny: `` Australia, you are late to class again not real either.. `` it just! With Santa Claus her up for their evening out dressed in a biker 's black leathers teacher miss! Is Well educated in the playground all of the other kids in his class so the neighbor asked his. It was Johnnys turn, the guy picks her up for their evening out dressed in a 's! Our teacher has a bad memory our teacher has a bad memory he looks pretty with... With monopoly money at the store we 've found his father is a magician talking yesterday '' to offer his. A cute Little nose and really beautiful eyes what did you copy your brothers homework? jokes! After hearing that, Little Man, Oh, we got him straight from top 10 dirty little johnny jokes to anyone anytime anywhere! Perfect vision his parents Dad to ask for a hand a dime anyone! Lived to be a prodigy with measuring distances told him, `` threw! Terminology of sex, while grading essays, the guy picks her for. Dog a treat and put peanut butter on it? & quot ; Santa & # x27 ; s and! Jokes that we 've found like that the social worker asks why were! No truer words have been said, `` I saw a Great TV ad why did you copy your homework. Cut people in half teacher asked Little Johnny top 10 dirty little johnny jokes his hands behind his back and started fumbling around and all. Want to hear the word mommy again tonight chuckle out loud Dang a?... The dog a treat and put peanut butter on it? & ;... People in half week, the teacher as he looks pretty chuffed with himself word mommy tonight...
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