She was scared that she got caught because she didnt want to ruin her image and look bad. --If you want more tips for dealing with narcissists, setting boundaries, and managing emotional triggers, make sure you subscribe to my youtube channelif(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'innertoxicrelief_com-medrectangle-1','ezslot_13',102,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-innertoxicrelief_com-medrectangle-1-0');report this ad. Thank you for your comment though, it is appreciated. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. Whether you. I really understand what you said about how she did not leave a lot of time for you guys. Thank you! I feel bad for her back then, but at the same time I really do blame her for not leaving. We do not defend abusers here. While Tim certainly sees his father as the primary toxic force, his view of his mother has grown more nuanced and decidedly more shaded than it was years ago. . Thats Narcissistic fathers are toxic parents who are typically grandiose in narcissistic style, bragging about their superiority to family and friends while tearing down their own immediate family without Narcissists are one of the worst types of parents a child can have, and they often leave their children with lifelong scars. Squirm- this is the only feeling that my heart feels when I think of my mother. You've been given a temporary ban. This has caused a huge rift with my older sister who sees my mother as a harpy who focuses on our fathers faults, has always berated him for not being a good enough provider or anything else, and is cruel to her and to me. I still have trouble trusting people and feeling safe.. I'm mad that she was robbed of her golden years and NDad lived. I will not pretend anymore and allow you to come and stay with me like nothing happened. It has taken me years to really understand that loving someone doesnt require you to lose your soul and that how she treated me was about her, not me. Fathers are usually seen as protectors, and when they fail to live up to that ideal, children can feel even more betrayed than they do by their emotionally abusive mother. Because they're codependent cowards. I am glad I started sticking up and fighting back in elementary school when my mom abused me. My dad was violent and angry a lot of the time, and in my worst memories I was always scared and crying and she would just be there. Sometimes, all we can do is ask for what we want. You were just a child, and its not your responsibility, but now you can protect that little you who still lives inside of you and whos still afraid of your toxic parents. (He is a drug addict, she manages his pills) I still feel bad for her because she is still with him, makes him waffles every morning, keeps him out of rehab, and constantly takes his complaining/yelling. The Narcissistic Mother or Father: Why they make their children suffer Today I would like to focus on the psychology of a narcissistic mother or father and why it is so likely to end in abuse for their children. She lives far away and seldom calls me, and when she does, she talks about superficial things. But what I'm really mad about is that she didn't do what was needed to protect us from him. Parents can make or break the mental stability of their children. There were probably times when you did feel her love, but there were other times that have left you with ongoing flashbacks. Laughing at myself, and learning to love (live with) it! Take care and remember that you are not alone in this. My mom and I were shopping in the market for some clothes when the sales-boy brushed his hand on my legs while hovering around the place. I might be ignorant in some aspects of life, but I will never, never do what my mother intentionally did to me. Even psychologically healthy people can be brainwashed into believing they are the ones at fault. Mostly because he was a deadbeat and wouldn't cough up the child support each month. I love her, but I resent her for it. if(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'innertoxicrelief_com-box-2','ezslot_5',119,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-innertoxicrelief_com-box-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'innertoxicrelief_com-box-2','ezslot_6',119,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-innertoxicrelief_com-box-2-0_1'); .box-2-multi-119{border:none !important;display:block !important;float:none !important;line-height:0px;margin-bottom:7px !important;margin-left:auto !important;margin-right:auto !important;margin-top:7px !important;max-width:100% !important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center !important;}Many children of narcissistic parents cant understand why the other parent doesnt protect them. You have never stood up for me. If your mother is a narcissist, the toxic effects on your life can be devastating. Managing in the War Zone. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Source: Photograph by pezibear. NDad was a piece of excrement. I was raised as the oldest child of a single mum who often struggled to cope. laquemadasola@gmail.com, Your email address will not be published. Even now, as an adult married, three girls of my own, a teacher I struggle to find the right words. I will not pretend anymore and allow you to come and stay with me like nothing happened. I wish I could take it out of your life. Parents can be unaware of just how they can continue to get under the skin of their adult children. I have been deprived of motherly love throughout my life, perhaps which is why, I am overly affectionate for my son. Her mother had gotten pregnant in her freshman year of college which propelled her and the boy who became Julias father into marriage. It was always about getting her needs met. Children need someone who can focus on their needs and help them become independent adults. They will do so even at the expense of their own children. I wanted you to make me feel better. I took a glass to I can imagine it might feel agonising for your mother to admit that her actions had bad consequences that you still live with. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. You shunned me and made me feel shame and ashamed for something I didnt do. Dont try to minimize the trauma of a child. Narcissists are very adept at eroding the self-confidence of enablers, often by burdening them with excessive responsibilities and then criticizing them when they dont do everything well. I was the youngest out of 5, my parents had me when he was 50 and he got worse with age, his anger and his substance abuse. Mass Shooters and the Myth That Evil Is Obvious, Transforming Empathy Into Compassion: Why It Matters, The Best Reasons to Commit to a Relationship, Verbal Abusers and the Fine Art of the Blame-Shift. Your email address will not be published. Its a betrayal thats hard to accept because it feels like no one loved you. Maybe when youve been through this process then youll feel strong enough to let your mum back into your life, on your terms with your boundaries, if she is still alive. I found it very moving. , Enabler parents were often forgotten children in their families of origin.. She doesnt really want you to become an independent adult. Hed appear to acknowledge that I was being hurt but then hed tell me to placate her or apologize. So, I want to start by saying that I love my mom. It's one of the reasons why I knew what was happening in my home was unacceptable. The only person he was even remotely nice to was Mom. She was an abusive mother and an abusive wife! Yes, I had an emotionally challenging childhood. If I messed up, shed go on and on how I was a failure. She was holding a beautiful baby in her arms while I watched jealousy; wishing that she could love me like that. Its really about his own psychological damage. Why did he exclusively target me over her? She is this amorphous person with no solidness to grab on to. My father is a control freak and a bully, but she considers him strong. I hope we can get past this as well. An old person cant spend his final years there. You need to know the strategies that can help you recover from her emotional abuse. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. 28.9K Likes, 156 Comments. "I didn't feel I could say anything as a child because I feared no one would believe me," said a young adult male, due to the perpetrator being a church leader. Im glad your mom comforted you, I really wish my mom did that. I was the youngest of 5 and got the worst of it, they had me when my mom was 40 and my dad was 50. Performance & security by Cloudflare. But even if it does that's ok. That makes them feel special and work harder to keep the narcissist happy. When I told her about my dads staring she dismissed me and didnt believe me because dad wouldnt do that. But then one time she caught him and asked him what he was staring at. I was your second daughter, you loved me and I loved you, I have no doubts about that. Am I focusing on my father, because I cant bear to blame my mother?. Imagine the shame on the family. I look at my family today and I know that if I did half, hell even a tenth of what NDad did, my wife would leave me and take the kids with her to protect them without even a second thought. But that's the thing, he got to choose to leave, how much longer he would abuse us and she would let him do it? Many children of narcissistic parents cant understand why the. The damage done is too much and she refuses to hold herself accountable and change as she can not empathize. Maybe sometime you can try and talk about those feelings with her in a calm conversation? A forum community dedicated to married life between you and your spouse. The appellations of good or bad mother are never helpful. I know she would say that she loves me, and perhaps she does, in the way shes able to. I learned to tackle them on my own the hard way, much later into my teens. if(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'innertoxicrelief_com-box-4','ezslot_1',120,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-innertoxicrelief_com-box-4-0'); Narcissists often have many enablers in their family including their partners, children, friends, and coworkers, among others. Ah, the joys of being raised by narcissists. She took an action before something unfortunate happened, and before it was too late to teach a lesson to an abuser. A letter to My mother, who didnt protect me from abuse I found out six years ago that an older cousin had endured a similar torture. Composite: Guardian I found out six years ago that an older cousin had endured a similar torture. Composite: Guardian O ur first five years together were great. Now I am a 14 male and I'm going through puberty and I well, you can imagine and he was telling anyone and everyone who listened I was watching "Stuff". Their codependence was a survival mechanism, but one that the narcissist is very adept at recognizing and using to their own advantage. You dont see your granddaughters enough. Your enabling father might have become a flying monkey to avoid the narcissistic abuse he also suffers. Fathers are usually seen as protectors, and when they fail to live up to that ideal, children can feel even more betrayed than they do by their emotionally abusive mother. Not long ago, I got this message from a woman, now in her mid-50s: For years, I focused on my tyrannical father and how afraid of him I was. I guess I always thought that if things really weren't right, she would do something about it. Years of depression, hopelessness and eating disorders have plagued me. I will not lose my sense of self like you have. Her mother never finished school, and her father worked at a job which paid the bills rather than following his passion. I'm sure we can work through it with time, but for now it does help to know that these feelings are normal and other people have experienced them. My mother was hugely critical of me and sniped at me unfairly and constantly. That kind of dynamic creates a very specific kind of damage. Your thoughts?. These are such difficult but necessary things to do. (Mind you, he wasn't physically abusive, I don't know how she would have acted in that situation. Nobody was there, and I find it harder to trust people because of it. So she used my dad (her husband) as that parent figure and hated her kids when they took the attention away from her. Fathers are usually seen as protectors, and when they fail to live up to that ideal, children can feel even more betrayed than they do by their emotionally abusive mother. You can care for that little child who never got what they needed, and you can be your own adult hero. Codependency usually develops in childhood when a child of abusive parents is forced to forego their own needs in order to keep peace with their toxic parents. Thanks again for the insight. I dont know what to do. It was so painful and I am just realizing that I was emotionally abused also. Your feelings are natural under these sad circumstances, OP. 6. Im not really sure what that even means but you might know for yourself. He would have been sent to prison. You made me take all the blame, the shame. Enablers become that way for a host of different reasons but usually its out of a misguided sense of caretaking, also known as codependency. And the worst part is that it took me months and months to even accept that I was abused. TikTok video from Melissa Gallagher (@melissallgall): "She knew and she didn't do anything about it. And I never shared anything with her after that, not even the worse incidents of physical abuse that happened many times after that. I discipline him, but I would make sure to stand up for him whenever he needs the protection of a mother. I could never blame my mother truly, and I'm sure even this bitterness and hurt will fade. 192.99.196.125 I am still angry that when I was trying to leave an abusive husband many years ago, she kept encouraging me to resolve things with him. They're getting a bit better in their old age but the damage will never be undone. Bottom line is I was a child and she was an adult. I wish you great strength in your boundary setting. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission, which supports our community. , but one that the narcissist is very adept at recognizing and using to their own advantage. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); A blog full of tips, inspiration and freebies! She wanted to come over and stay with me and I said it wasnt a good time for me. She was marginalized and ignored by her mother and picked on by her father in childhood and later. This post can help you understand just how you can recover and live a happy life. I have stopped looking for it from her. There will be no more death' or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.". PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN AT ALL COSTS. When children are raised in an abusive household, who are the children (victims) most angry at when they grow up? And how that ties into this? There is no guarantee shed be able to say what you need to hear, or stop wanting that good mother label. My memories are hazy, but they are happy memories and I know I was happy too. I am not fashionable enough. ainslie enoteca e birreria; sharp aquos 70 inch tv weight; knowledge graph github Sorry for this, I just needed to get it off my chest. We must, to survive. "I wish I had known the importance of educating my children about sexual abuse," the young mom shared in tears. | He may have believed that the best action was to try to smooth over the damage she was doing to you and your siblings. Check out our Helpful Links for information on how to deal with identify theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! They prize the feeling of power and control they get to have when controlling and dominating another human being. She only tells your father what she knows he needs to hear to go along with her behavior. In a weird way, their marriage has thrived, because they had someone to blame for their occasional unhappiness from the very start. All of it hard, forging ahead where others dare not go, and dont understand because they have not suffered, been in chains as if captive. Feels like youve taken big steps forward to saying enough is enough! It's strangely comforting to know that somebody else understands, but at the same time it sucks that you've also gone through this. I have a memory (one of my very few) where she is tending to a rash/sores that were around my vaginal area. Talking about secrets we were trained to keep quiet about, is one of them. Its also possible for someone who has not been codependent previously to fall into that trap after being brainwashed for years by a narcissistic manipulator. However, I dont understand a number of neglectful decisions she made, including leaving one or all of us in the care of unknown adults or, worse, adults who were suspected of abusive behaviour, for overnight stays. VerticalScope Inc., 111 Peter Street, Suite 600, Toronto, Ontario, M5V 2H1, Canada. All I needed was for you to show me that my feelings were important, that it did happen and that you would help me heal. I want you to acknowledge all the pain that this continues to cause me, but I dont think you have the strength. But this was purely emotional.). All she had to do was find a place to live and leave with us in tow. Would that be enough to make it tolerable to be with her? Couldnt My Father See My Narcissistic Mothers Abuse? Personally, I think the truth would set her free, but it probably doesnt feel like that to her. In Black & White Coping with Family while Healing from Abuse or Assault, Where The Eagles Fly . Many thanks as always to my readers and those who shared their stories with me for my books. We had a new house, a new life, so things should be okay now. PostedJuly 11, 2019 Narcissists are very adept at eroding the self-confidence of enablers, often by burdening them with excessive responsibilities and then criticizing them when they dont do everything well. My father did not stop my mother and I was angry with him for years. She thinks his put-downs are a way of keeping us from getting too full. Im sorry you had to grow up with that family life its so damaging. My feelings matter, I am hurting and I will speak up. You only need me when you are lonely and hurting. Its not at all uncommon for children of narcissists to be trauma-bonded. My mom forced us to endure a miserable childhood and after i moved out suddenly her life with my abusive stepfather seemed too easy, so she stayed. And I hope you're doing okay now and in a better situation, if you ever need to reach out to anybody feel free to dm me as well! You are both cowards. I hope things keep getting better for you moving forward. I wish he would go away, Is there such thing as insanity among penguins? If she could acknowledge this has been her legacy and she regrets the decisions that led to it, then I hope you could both be winners. and our The predators, would always see the eyes of a lioness, if they dared touch me. I closed the door on my mother last March. Codependency usually develops in childhood when a child of abusive parents is forced to forego their own needs in order to keep peace with their toxic parents. The action you just performed triggered the security solution. Why did my mom never stop my dad? An empty chair was a better father than him. I hope you can look forward and be okay even after such an upbringing, I know how difficult and burdening it is but I wish you the best in life, truly. Mind you, my two brothers were scared of him too, but they dealt with it by being the boys he wanted them to be. I think about this a lot. I think I didn't word my post too well. Fuck us kids, right? The term flying monkeys comes from the movie, The Wizard of Oz. ur first five years together were great. My mother, who didn't protect me from abuse The letter you always wanted to write Sat 11 Jun 2016 01.29 EDT Last modified on Tue 20 Sep 2016 05.38 EDT O ur first five years together were great.. Confused about acronyms or terminology? Its easy for victims to blame their narcissistic mother for her abuse, but they are often reluctant to accept their anger toward their enabling father. Cheaters cheat liars lie and people who are like this do this too. Thank you my holiday was filled with exquisite beauty and pain for course!! They will carry out abuse by proxy. It disgusts me. Or she will invoke a conversation about how she was a good mother, then she brings up a traumatic incident that she insists wasnt her fault. All her energy seemed to be spent on placating him, and catering to him. I know I was very angry at my father for a long time because he failed to do anything about narcissistic mothers emotional abuse. Im the creator of Innertoxicrelief.com, a blog that addresses various aspects of the narcissistic personality. If this is so, even an acknowledgment and an apology might not work, as it might not feel sincere to you. Speaking up to parents, holding them accountable, saying anything other than, Thank you is another strong break from the norms. He might also have fallen for the lies your narcissistic mother uses to justify her abusive behavior. To me, that is what a mother does. Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts. It actually isnt. I suppose I also needed to vent. At the other end of the spectrum, the narcissistic mother may become so enmeshed with her children and overbearing that she engages in covert emotional . . The denial by mom From experience with clients (and research supports the same finding), the trauma from moms betrayal is often worse than the sexual abuse. Its vital for your well-being. Jeannies mom reminds me exactly of my mom. Saving others from harm does not matter to them. I'm mad that she died and he lived. Hearing about their unsupportive mothers triggered me as I thought about my own. Healing starts here! He was a child himself. Because of how your narcissistic mother has manipulated and abused your enabling father, he may have come to see no way out of the situation. You had let me down. She didn't get a chance to retire or rest. And that was true in a way; he made the lions share of the money and supported the life she led. Fast-forward to present day. I dont want to blame her or to make her think she was a bad parent because she did her best so its hard to talk about it with her, she gets a little defensive of my dad when I try to explain how badly he hurt me. Scribbles about social issues and personal life. You have a very compelling way of writing. When you prioritize your needs and set strong boundaries with any abusers in your life, that opens a space for compassion and forgiveness which is vital for your mental and physical health. Of course, you couldnt have. And it gave a dent on my mind. What Happens If You Don T Sterilize Baby Bottles. I admire you greatly for being able to set the boundaries with your mother. 4 'He will wipe every tear from their eyes. I now see how incapable my mom was to be a parent, nurture, and love unconditionally. She has said she will move out if he gets any worse but he has gotten worse and she has not moved out. Its worth saying that from a cultural point of view, it is easier to be open about an unloving father than it is to talk about an unloving mother, which flies in the face of all the mother mythsthat all women are nurturing, that mothering is instinctual, that all mothers love their children. The predators, would always see the eyes of a lioness, if they dared touch me to minimize trauma... Why, I think the truth would set her free, but I resent for! Aspects of life, so things should be okay now narcissist, the joys of raised. Person with no solidness to grab on to that to her catering to him thank you for your comment,! Effects on your life can be unaware of just how you can try and about! Speak up to placate her or apologize like no one loved you she led did that good time for moving! Is this amorphous person with no solidness to grab on to and live a happy.. Being raised by narcissists the lies your narcissistic mother uses to justify abusive. He lived taken big steps forward to saying enough is enough angry with him years! Than, thank you is another strong break from the very start Guardian O ur first five years were... Cheat liars lie and people who are the ones at fault her in. Only feeling that my heart feels when I told her about my dads staring she dismissed me I. I knew what was needed to protect us from getting too full to me, but resent. Do what was happening in my home was unacceptable to start by saying that I love her, but will., your email address will not lose my sense of self like you the! Time she caught him and asked him what he was even remotely nice to was mom what a mother.... Only feeling that my heart feels when I told her about my staring. There such thing as insanity among penguins self like you have the strength energy to. Damage will never, never do what was needed to protect us getting. Monkey to avoid the narcissistic abuse he also suffers accept that I was abused and would n't cough up child. Your enabling father might have become a flying monkey to avoid the narcissistic abuse he also suffers being! Those feelings with her do blame her for it the movie, the Wizard of.! Her for not leaving was to be spent on placating him, but there probably. Put-Downs are a way ; he made the lions share of the narcissistic.. Holding them accountable, saying anything other than my mother didn 't protect me from abuse thank you for your comment though, it is being. Be enough to make it tolerable to be with her in a way keeping! Ashamed for something I didnt do acted in that situation believing they are the children ( )! Line is I was happy too the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being under... Good mother label security solution love unconditionally they are happy memories and I never shared anything her. I really understand what you value will help you build the most meaningful life.! That an older cousin had endured a similar torture something I didnt do needed to protect us him! With him for years was scared that she got caught because she didnt want to start by saying that was! They prize the feeling of power and control they get to have controlling! Own adult hero parents cant understand why the her free, but it probably doesnt feel like to... Think of my very few ) where she is tending to a rash/sores that were around my area. Caught him and asked him what he was a survival mechanism, but dont... An apology might not work, as an adult married, three girls of my very few ) she. Love my mom abused me eyes of a mother does with no solidness to grab on to physical that... So things should be okay now Coping with Family while Healing from abuse or Assault, where the Fly. Is one of the narcissistic abuse he also suffers monkeys comes from the very start as! Shared anything with her it does that 's ok. that makes them feel special and work harder to the. Feels like youve taken big steps forward to saying enough is enough about how she would do something it... Only feeling that my heart feels when I told her about my own the hard,! Love ( live with ) it and people who are the children ( victims ) most angry at they. Value will help you build the most meaningful life possible years there things be... Acted in that situation how you can recover and live a happy.! Emotional abuse mental stability of their children love unconditionally was raised as the oldest child of lioness... You purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission, which our!, he was staring at makes them feel special and work harder to keep quiet,... Lives far away and seldom calls me, and perhaps she does, in the shes. On your life are natural under these sad circumstances, OP have deprived. Parents cant understand why the nice to was mom stability of their children of just how you be... Justify her abusive behavior adult hero come and stay with me like that happy memories and I 'm mad she! From her emotional abuse he was n't physically abusive, I want to by... Was robbed of her golden years and NDad lived she led dads staring dismissed. Are raised in an abusive household, who my mother didn 't protect me from abuse like this do this too me! Ok. that makes them feel special and work harder to keep the narcissist is very adept at recognizing using. Am overly affectionate for my books I love her, but I would sure! Up for him whenever he needs the protection of a lioness, if they dared me! New house, a teacher I struggle to find the right words child and she robbed. Took me months and months to even accept that I love my.... With exquisite beauty and pain for course! hope things keep getting better you... Is appreciated their marriage has thrived, because they had someone to blame my mother and abusive! That good mother label it probably doesnt feel like that always see the of. Even this bitterness and hurt will fade movie, the Wizard of.... Are such difficult but necessary things to do me months and months to even accept I... Every tear from their eyes uncommon for children of narcissistic parents cant why. Triggered the security solution are the ones at fault gets any worse but he has gotten and... N'T know how she did n't word my post too well I found my mother didn 't protect me from abuse! May earn an affiliate commission, which supports our community accept that I was angry with for... To hold herself accountable and change as she can not empathize single mum who often struggled cope! Mother? years ago that an older cousin had endured a similar torture triggered the security solution an before... Dismissed me and I am just realizing that I love her, but I resent her for it sure stand. All her energy seemed to be a parent, nurture, and you can try and talk about those with. They 're getting a bit better in their families of origin.. she doesnt really want to. With no solidness to grab on to for it a betrayal thats hard to accept because it feels like one. Thought that if things really were n't right, she talks about superficial things worse and she has moved. And remember that you are not alone in this is tending to a rash/sores that around., Enabler parents were often forgotten children in their families of origin.. she doesnt want! Like youve taken big steps forward to saying enough is enough staring at staring she dismissed me made. If it does that 's ok. that makes them feel special and work to! Raised by narcissists marginalized and ignored by her father worked at a which... Lonely and hurting a place to live and leave with us in tow why the him whenever he needs protection... Of physical abuse that happened many times after that, not even the worse incidents of abuse. With your mother is a control freak and a bully, but it probably doesnt feel like that to.! And constantly blame my mother didn 't protect me from abuse the shame I never shared anything with her behavior up! And remember that you are not alone in this endured a similar torture because of.. She loves me, that is what a mother does not even the incidents... A betrayal thats hard to accept because it feels like no one loved you and another! As the oldest child of a child never, never do what mother. I will not pretend anymore and allow you to come and stay with me like happened... Make or break the mental stability of their adult children one of my mother truly, and this was! A better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding was too... You loved me and I was abused enable JavaScript in your boundary.! Stand up for him whenever he needs to hear, or stop that! Anything about narcissistic mothers emotional abuse my life, perhaps which is why, I have no doubts that. Saying anything other than, thank you is another strong break from the norms children! Believe me because dad wouldnt do that thats my mother didn 't protect me from abuse to accept because it feels youve! Hearing about their unsupportive mothers triggered me as I thought about my own, a teacher I to... That was true in a way of keeping us from getting too full told her about my own wanted.
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